I would open the page, trying to will it to inspire me, only to realize that the posts on it are not at all inspirational. Heck they are not even very motivational, except perhaps in a ‘if [...]]]> For the last few weeks(maybe months) I have been frequently opening my website and basically staring at it.

I would open the page, trying to will it to inspire me, only to realize that the posts on it are not at all inspirational. Heck they are not even very motivational, except perhaps in a ‘if I add better and newer posts, the old ones will disappear from the front page’ kind of way.

Of course as we all know wanting to do something and actually doing are two different things and for me lately they seem to have such distance between them as to render them oblivious to each other. This makes it very difficult for me to get back here.

I will note here that it is late and my brain is still a little bleary from the end of tax season on Monday, but hopefully this is all basically understandable and not too meandering.

Why now? Well it was actually supposed to happen yesterday. Finally after weeks(months?) of procrastination I set myself a goal of starting to try and post/write more as soon as May rolled around. I decided yesterday that as I was not specific as to a date that tomorrow(today) would be just as good a day to start.

Still why now? Lately I have been trying to incorporate more of the things I love back into my life. Somehow I let so many of them fall by the wayside, mostly out of laziness, though I suppose the excuse of life just getting in the way of life could be argued. I feel like I have slowly been coming to the realization that a lot of time has passed and while I have many great things to show for it, I also think I could have more. Now I am trying to catch up on the more.

Some of the things I am ‘catching up’ on: reading, photography, education and writing.

You’ll note down there in the footer that this year I have actually read 4 books so far! Sadly I am really excited about this because last year I read none(textbooks don’t count). Yay books! You will also note in the sidebar here there is a new Instagram feed, where I have thrown a few photos and links to the photo-a-week project I have been participating in/running since last August. This will hopefully be the first post in a return to blogging and I may even try to pick up a pen to write prose of some kind.

That leaves education. I think I might have mentioned in passing about assignments here but I may not have outright said what I am doing which is likely because most people who read this blog already know. For the one or two who don’t know though I am taking pre-requisite courses in order to apply to enter the Chartered Accountant School of Business(CASB). I am a third of the way through the courses, which is slow going while working full time, but still good progress considering that. I’ve spent the last few nights looking over timetables to figure out the next classes I can take, there is a lot of back and forth especially in co-ordinating between two schools.

Anyway since I was making progress in those three areas I figured I should just back on here and throw up a little hello/update. It is sort of like when you find your diary under a pile of books in your room and realize that you haven’t updated in forever, you just have to open it to put something in there so as not to have a huge gap that leaves you wondering what the heck was going on. Sure you can assume it was just a nice quiet time in your life, but even the mundane should be recorded to give the insanity some perspective, right?

*I was listening to Barenaked Ladies Gordon album the other day and ever since I have had “Grade Nine” stuck in my head. 

I am also glad that I have a bunch of yummy food in my fridge, like bacon and eggs, that I can have with my coffee when I do finally wake up at whatever time I wake up.

Breakfast, coffee and weekends. Perfection [...]]]> I am very glad that I get to sleep in tomorrow.

I am also glad that I have a bunch of yummy food in my fridge, like bacon and eggs, that I can have with my coffee when I do finally wake up at whatever time I wake up.

Breakfast, coffee and weekends. Perfection after a week that was very aggravating.

Sadly being as tired as I am means that coming up with something interesting to say at the moment is very difficult.

Instead let us both sit [...]]]> Seriously this feels like the longest week, I can’t believe it is only Thursday. I am very much looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday morning. VERY MUCH!

Sadly being as tired as I am means that coming up with something interesting to say at the moment is very difficult.

Instead let us both sit here and listen to this lovely song. I will try not to fall asleep, but I make no promissz.zzz..z..zz..zzz..z…z…

This Christmas season I won’t decorate my house until at least December 2nd. Alas some people require Christmas lights on their house starting November 15th in [...]]]> This Christmas season I won’t start playing Christmas songs until December has started. Unfortunately that will not stop every radio station and retail store from playing them, starting immediately.

This Christmas season I won’t decorate my house until at least December 2nd. Alas some people require Christmas lights on their house starting November 15th in order to properly inspire them to cheery feelings.

This Christmas season I won’t eat too many yummy treats. Oh who am I kidding, of course I will! It is one of the best parts of the holiday season – holiday treats!

This Christmas season I won’t forget to organize a snowshoe and fondue adventure. Despite trying to organize one for the past three years unsuccessfully, I will not be discouraged.

This Christmas season I won’t get stuck in Victoria due to a snow storm. This is partly due to the winter tires and partly due to not having time to get to Victoria likely. (I actually really enjoy getting stuck in Victoria due to snow storms.)

This Christmas season I won’t freeze in my house, because I will have some lovely new windows installed. Maybe a hot toddy or apple cider will aid in this as well.

*Topic supplied by Indigo Eve

Sure you would think that routine would be [...]]]> It seems like of late I have very little focus. My brain seems to have turned itself off. Only it forgot to tell me. I keep trying to go about my usual routine but it is harder then you’d imagine when your brain isn’t along for the ride.

Sure you would think that routine would be the easiest to focus on but it feels as if it is the complete opposite.

My focus has gone on vacation until I promise to give it something more interesting to work with.

The problem being then that I don’t have anything interesting really happening at the moment (I am sure reading this blog lately you noticed). So where does one find something that is interesting enough to tempt focus back from its little holiday?

Indigo Eve suggested that the lack of focus may be weather related and if that is the case I fear the situation is worse than I first thought. We are just starting Winter, if I have to deal with this lack of focus until Spring arrives it is going to be a LONG Winter.

Even focusing here to try and write more than 200 words is difficult. Though perhaps that is more to do with poor topic choices than a lack of focus.

Though it must be a little of both because I feel like I keep ending posts when there is still more to write. Yet I still stop at the oddest places. I guess knowing what the problem is doesn’t mean you will fix it. Guess my  lack of focus will leave me with lots of topics to come back to later and flesh out, even if I never get around to it.

Why?

Because I have single pane windows in my poor old house.

Sometime this week, I hope, new windows are to be delivered. Then sometime next weekend my lovely friend [...]]]> I am sitting here on my couch, fully dressed and cuddled up under a fleece blanket with the heat going. Yet still I am freezing.

Why?

Because I have single pane windows in my poor old house.

Sometime this week, I hope, new windows are to be delivered. Then sometime next weekend my lovely friend is going to put them in.

I am really far too excited about this fact. I mean come on they are just windows!

Yet, if I can sit on my couch and not freeze, oh and save some money on heating, that is totally worth getting excited about.

Sometimes it is the little things.

For now though I am going to go curl up in bed, because at least my bedroom has a double pane window and I don’t freeze in there.

I excel at it in all aspects of my life – work, school (especially), even socially at times.

At work I opt [...]]]> I am a very good at something, well honestly I am very good at quite a few things, but I am superb when it comes to procrastinating. These days it seems everyone is.

I excel at it in all aspects of my life – work, school (especially), even socially at times.

At work I opt to do projects that are easier than what I am working on at that moment, sometimes it is just because my brain needs a break, but sometimes it is just because I don’t want to work that hard.

At school, well to be honest even writing this is procrastination as I have a midterm tomorrow which I should really be studying for.

Socially, well who hasn’t cleaned their house top to bottom just to avoid having to make a phone call?

Of course there are times when I can’t stand procrastinating, they aren’t many though, when I am motivated to get whatever project done immediately. Perhaps those moments are just because I start to annoy myself with my inability to focus on projects. Who knows? I just wish I could direct that motivation better.

I guess it is hard to motivate yourself to do things you don’t really have a desire to. At work there are always more interesting things than what you are working on, at school sometimes it all feels a little futile when you know it doesn’t translate into the real world, and socially well sometimes just being alone is satisfying.

Either way I guess I should stop procrastinating tonight and study a little before bed, maybe?

We all want to think our instincts are valid, we want to [...]]]> Do you ever find yourself doing something despite everything telling you you shouldn’t? I don’t even mean big things, sometimes it is the littlest of things. Of course when you ignore your instinct you inevitably feel bad about even the littlest of things.

We all want to think our instincts are valid, we want to trust them, yet sometimes we second guess them. Perhaps it is because society has conditioned up to question everything, including ourselves.  If so it kind of saddens me, because if there were ever something to trust it is ourselves.

Even when our brains are screaming at us to do or not do something there it is that little voice that says we should or shouldn’t, but because it is so quiet we ignore it, when really it usually has the right idea.

If we can’t even trust ourselves how can we ever trust others?

In case your wondering it was a very little thing that brought up these thoughts. My parents bought a new bed and I asked if I could have their old bed frame since they upgraded from a queen. I have never had a bed frame, the closest I came was probably when I used to sleep on a sofa bed, because I liked being able to fold away my bed when company came over.

Anyway, they dropped the frame off and for about two weeks it was leaning against the wall in my bedroom. It took up a quite a bit of space so at one point I moved the headboard to where it would eventually be at the head of my bed, leaving the footboard where it was.

I was very happy with this, I liked the look of the oak and wrought iron at the head. I moved the footboard out of the way and left it like this for a few a while. A few times during this period I kept saying ‘maybe I shouldn’t put the footboard on it will be visually too big for the room.’ The headboard was against a wall so it really didn’t affect the visuals of the room it just gave a focal point for the bed.

Well tonight, despite my instincts, I went ahead and attached the side rails and the footboard.

Now I really wish I hadn’t because, as I knew it would, it takes up WAY too much room visually and really more ACTUAL room than I would choose.

Unfortunately tonight I have no desire to amend this situation, but at some point I am definitely going to have to fix it. Maybe I will try to figure out a way to keep the rails but loose the footboard. I am sure I could rig something with a trip to the local home renovation store and a little help.

In the end though it comes back to the point – why didn’t I trust my instincts? I mean if I can’t trust my gut when decorating should I really be trusting it with the bigger issues? Perhaps when it comes to these little things it just decides to go on holiday, as a reminder to us that when the big stuff comes up: LISTEN!

Or rather something they didn’t say.

It drives me mad when people make a comment but [...]]]> I don’t know I might have written about this topic before, if I have I apologize, if not well I am a little surprised. I feel like writing about it tonight because something someone said to me annoyed me.

Or rather something they didn’t say.

It drives me mad when people make a comment but then refuse to discuss it. They feel the need to say something but then when confronted with a question about their comment respond with vague “I don’t know” type answers.

If you don’t know then why say ANYTHING in the first place?

How is that even close to having a normal adult conversation? If you are going to make assumptions about me you better be ready to back them up with a conversation. Otherwise may I suggest keeping your thoughts to yourself, then neither of us will be stuck in a conversation we never intended to have.

ps: I promise to write something more upbeat soon, I hope.