A social debate for centuries. Sex. It can be a carnal sin, or a carnal pleasure. People have made it into the most personal of unions and the most disgusting also. It seems we can’t make up our minds, whether sex is a good or a bad thing.
Sex is everywhere though. On our television sets, in magazines, movies, books, and the Internet. It has infiltrated our world so much that we partially ignore it. We have become desensitized to all the violence on television and in the same way to the sex. Children are taught sex education early on, though not always from school.
We, Generation Why Not, are living in a decade where the values instilled in our parents are not those we live by. We have lived our lives and have thrown out their rule books, to write our own. Sure there are a few different versions out there. Religious beliefs, sexual preference, and other values have molded different ideas, but still they are our own and we stand by them.
Most of our parents believed in marriage before sex, monogamy, and same sex partners. Now-a-days, things have changed. Sex before marriage is no longer a major taboo, monogamy is still in there, though for some is not quite a clear concept, and partners of the same sex, well welcome to the bisexual generation.
Some people believe that the new millennium will see relationships becoming unisexual, not homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual. Whatever the trend, the fact remains that sexual expression has exploded from its box, and is rampant. All around us, people are flaunting their sexual desires, tensions, perversions, and fetishes. And doing so with pride. The sexual repression that was ingrained into our parents has died out, leaving in its wake the flower power freedom of the 60′s and drug induced disco loving of the 70′s, finally transformed into our own mix of explorative but guilt ridden sexual expression.
These days books on sex are as common as those self-help books. If not more so. The famous Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana has been made pocket size. For easy reference and travel convenience. Along with a host of other books on all topics, from “Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving”, to “The Joy of Gay Sex”, there is book for everyone. People are curious, and the publishing business is happy to fill their need for information. Books such as these are also a welcome addition to the sexually charged atmosphere of the times, because they allow us a guilt free look at sex, in all ways, shapes and positions.
Along with a plethora of print references there is the Internet, with its endless array of informative sites. From medical information, online ezines specifically on sex, or the multitude of porn sites out there. There has never been a time where so much information was readily available to us, at the click of a mouse, or the flick of a page.
Television has also entered the sexual age providing viewers with edgy shows that deal with what used to be taboo topics. HBO’s Sex and the City for instance is a rare uncut look at the sexual practices of four very different women. Covering topics ranging from ‘fuck buddies’ to celibacy, all honestly and straightforwardly set.
So why with all the available information at our finger tips, are the vast majority of us so restrained and guilt ridden. Was it those early years of Sunday school teachings, fears of fire and brimstone wrath? Or are we merely all talk and no action?
So what are the rules for the new sexual revolution? Basically, anything and everything goes. Safety is an utmost concern, but otherwise, have your cake and eat whoever you want. The major issue behind all sexual practices though is honesty, a 7 letter word that for most is harder to take than cyanide.
After living so long in little bubbles of self induced realities, the real world is hard to take. Even harder is opening up and letting people see the real you. Which is a big part of sex. Opening yourself to a person, allowing them to see everything that you are. Baring your body and soul, to the perception and judgment of others. Never an easy task by any means. There is always that moment of doubt, when the masks and clothes have dropped and you know it is just he two of you, nothing to hide behind. Sex is the most honest expression we have, hidden under our guilt and prejudices.
Sex can be an illustration of deeper feelings, or simply the release of pent up sexual tension. The first allows two people to bathe themselves in the love around them, make love, and feel each others presence in a way no one else can. The second, pure unadulterated sex, passion, and desire, a release that can be euphoric, and gratifying. Above all of it though honesty and trust, a mutual respect for bodies that were given and taken purely.
The greatest of weapons and the ultimate of pleasures. Sex can cause pain or bliss, love or hatred. It is one of a few things that we can have control over in our lives. The choice to sleep with whom we choose. To let people take pleasure in our body, and to take pleasure in return. There are few things in life that are as give and take, few things that can be both simple and complicated at the same time. Sex can make or break a relationship, turn friends against each other, push lovers apart, or can be the most powerful of connections.
Sex has become an art form for some, a cathartic experience for others, and a terror for a few. Bad experiences in sex can lead to fears of commitment and feelings of inadequacy. Self conscious feelings, can also lead to fears, that our partner will reject us, or that we won’t satisfy. Fears which eventually need to be absolved, if a person is ever going to maintain a satisfying relationship. Though for many these fears are hard to abandon, ingrained as they are in their subconscious. For these people intimacy is something that can take a long time to allow. Living in a suppressed world, and not knowing how to escape.
Sex has become more things to more people than most things in this world. To some release, to some guilt, and also frightening. Sex can be scary and complicated, yet also simple. For one person it can represent the build up of emotion to a point, where the only way left to express themselves is to be with their partner. Skin touching skin, bodies becoming one, and emotions flowing freely around them. To another it can represent all the things that terrify people about relationships, it can exemplify the commitment two people make, or the bond. Yet to some it can represent nothing but mutual gratification, the enjoyment of the body, and entwining of souls, not forever, but in the small space in time. Where everything can stand still for two people, trapped by passion.
Everyone wants sex. It is the basest of human needs. The need to reproduce, it is a built in thought process. Since the beginning of time, we have reproduced through sexual means. That suggestion urges us to seek out mates, and to have children. Sure we have the ability to ignore it at times. Not everyone wants to have children or get married, but the implications are still there.
Sex is a driving force. It can compel people to do many things. As can the lack of it. Making you say things you don’t mean, or shouldn’t. As well it can make you do things, you shouldn’t or don’t want to. It can cause you to think you have feelings for someone when you don’t, or to think you don’t have feelings for someone when you do. It is capable of being the single most complicated thing ever. A paradox unto an enigma unto a mystery. Perhaps there will never be a simple answer to sex, or maybe each person has to write their own rule book on the subject.
To explain sex in today’s society would be a rather pointless undertaking. It changes rapidly and extensively. Things we once thought would always be considered unmentionable or taboo, are being widely accepted. Sexual barriers are being broken down, repression is expelled, and guilt, well that will always remain. In a society where religion plays such a major part, how could we possibly think it would be otherwise.
Though with all the sexual repression still abounding, and the guilt many feel, still most of us have woken in the middle of the night with sexual desires. That dream which was all too real to quickly forget, the touches still lingering on our skin. Felt the enduring pressure from a passionate kiss. Wakened only to the reality of an empty bed, yearning for that touch to come again. Images of nocturnally lighted positions floating through our minds eye, as we sink back into slumber.
Still caught up in our dreams of touch and taste, we refuse to admit our natural need for intimacy. Whether it is for simple companionship or something much deeper, we all need to feel the touch of another’s lips, or breathe. Sex is simply a necessity. No matter how you look at it, it is still the same need that has existed for centuries. The requirement of our bodies to seek out one another. To find carnal pleasure or carnal sin, in the small spaces between hours. We’ve written our own rules, each of us, and now we have no choice but to live by them. To embrace our beliefs and exemplify our desires. Sex is sex, no matter what century we live in, so enjoy it, or shut up.