Go big blue!’. ‘He’s Gay!’. These are just a few of the comments I used to hear on a regular basis when I ate lunch or hung out with a group of friends. I no longer eat with these people because of comments like these. I still hear them, although they are aimed at the people I now sit with. These comments are generally ignored. We all realize the repercussions, none of which have significance in our lives, greatly affect the lives of the source of the comments.
One effect is that the sources of these comments now have fewer friends. The people who still remain around them do so for fear of having this vehemence directed towards them. I myself am an example of this behavior. It took me a long time to get up the courage to leave this group. I was scared that if I did all of my friends would turn against me, leaving me friendless.
My best friend used to be the best of friends with a boy in this group of people. He took everything she did or said in his defense for granted. He knew that she would follow him around like a puppy and he used that to his advantage. Eventually it seemed as though he had tired of her and tossed her away like a pair of old sock with too many holes in them. He tried to turn all her friends against her, and in some cases succeeded. Ultimately she was forced to leave the group and make new friends. In her absence, the aforementioned sordid group of people would gossip about her incessantly. If she passed them in the halls they would make comments about her. Such actions sorely tempted her to end her time on this plain of existence. She now knows after three years of friendship, plus counseling from both friends and loved ones, that she is too good for them and that they don’t deserve her company.
Although the above is only one example of a friend these deviants have lost they have yet to acknowledge the fact, and so conduct themselves as though they are as popular and friendly as ever.
I presume that these comments originate as a way to augment their own self-esteem. By directing comments that are created to shoot down any self-respect we have, they merely substantiate our impression that it is done simply to heighten their own self-esteem and demeanor of superiority.
You have to ask yourself, whether or not they even care about what others think of them. If they, themselves, care about anyone, or if the reverse is true. Do they care if anyone cares about them? I used to care about them; now I just pity them, as do others I know.
They regard themselves as superior to the rest of us, using hateful and condescending remarks to try and authenticate what they believe.
Another friend of mine, who dates one of these people I am referring to, will always agree with whatever he says. If she agrees with it or not, isn’t significant. She is rarely allowed to share her own opinion of things. lf she receives a low mark on a test or assignment he becomes irate, because he presumes that since he gets exceptional grades so should she. Once she agreed with a criticism that was aimed at him, so he refused to speak to her until she had apologized. Both my friends and I agree that her boyfriend is possessive and domineering. He treats her and other women like objects that he can own and command.
One, of his and his friends, pastimes is looking at pornography and watching X-rated movies. They have downloaded pornography from the Internet and have attached the faces of people they dislike to the bodies. They digitally manipulate pictures however they want. I find it truly pathetic that the only way these 16 and 17 year of boys can find to amuse themselves is to insult people they hold in disdain.
Behaviour such as the above-mentioned is the reason my friends and I try our best to have nothing to do with them. If we walk past where they are sitting they will grab at our legs or make rude comments. If perhaps they hold animosity towards you, these comments will run along the lines of ‘She’s ugly!’ or ‘Lesbian!’. They usually go unnoticed, but in the back of your mind you wonder why they are so spiteful towards you, when you used to such good friends.
When I think about the malice one of the guys in this group holds towards me, I become distressed. I prevented him from killing himself, by showing him how many people cared about him. Now I see those same people disgusted by him for what he has become and how he treats them.
It causes me to wonder: what makes people change? I know it is impossible not to change, but when the changes in you cause others to have feelings of apprehension, you have to question whether you’re changing for the better or if you’re just changing to fit in with your friends.