I often feel like this website is more of a diary than anything else. Especially in the sense of putting words to paper (screen) then, weeks/months/years later, going back to realize that all those good intentions were just that.
Some people say that unless you write something down you won’t do it. To set your goals, write them on a post it, stick it to the fridge then stare at it until it is accomplished.
For some reason for me the opposite seems to be true, if I write it down I almost feel obligated to then ignore it until the end of time. I hate finite goals. They make me feel trapped rather than motivated. As if putting it out there locks me into a course of action with no possibility of alteration.
This is of course untrue. Yet for me it is reality. I need to be inspired to do things naturally not by being forced to sit down and decide. Force me to draw out goals and I will almost certainly do my best to not accomplish them. Not because they aren’t valid or worthwhile but because suddenly everything else is much more interesting.
Granted I have spent my fair share of time convincing myself to plan things out for the future. For a while I chip away but sooner or later I get frustrated for whatever reason and abandon them.
This is what has happened of late, I’ve looked at “goals” I had set for myself and realized that while they seemed practical they weren’t going to make me any happier. Not that happiness is something I realistically want, perhaps contentment but happiness has always seemed fleeting to me. An emotion you can hang onto for a while but that will eventually fade. Kind of like that old adage of ‘you can’t see the good if you never see the bad’, you can’t be happy all the time or it means nothing.
So what is all this nattering on about? I don’t know. I guess it is me wanting to write because it always used to be something that I enjoyed. I could log on here, jot some words down and feel good about it. Then it changed and I felt as if there was a pressure to be producing something more substantial. As if everyone was watching this space for me to start posting fabulous accomplishments, but I had none to show. I still don’t, but I also don’t think anyone minds. No one is expecting anything beyond well Me.
So here it is. Me. Back again for no particular reason and making no promises of what is to come.
- Myra Creek – July 1, 2013 Indigo Eve
- Le papillon Denis Fortin
- Week 11.2 – Ripening Likalia
- Week 10.2 – Sky Scenes Likalia
- Week 9.2 – Colourful Canning Likalia
- Marina – Week 10.2 Indigo Eve
- Week 8.2 – Drowning In Paper Likalia
- Week 7.2 – Pink Perfection Likalia
- Week 6.2 – Sounds of Summer Likalia
- Week 5.2 – Taste of Summer Likalia